another nearing completion

August 27th, 2015 by _d2_

i have just a few minor mods and sanding to do (and finish repairing his good hand because he fell at the end of this shoot) – and then i need to make him his cane…

but look! pestilence! i can’t wait to see him all done and with his progeny, plague.

i know they never said it would be easy

August 21st, 2015 by _d2_

but sometimes i wish life wouldn’t keep throwing me one hardball after another, especially when they all seem to smack me in the head when i’m down on the ground already.

i’ve posted some news about the mai ougi up over on the cirque de fantomes news site – see post here

but i’m about to take one of my lovely little ferrets to a specialist several cities over tomorrow to *hopefully* get the final answer on his health. which means i need to find a way to come up with several hundred more dollars out of thin air.

i worry that what i do isn’t interesting to people and that’s why i never get much notice. i start to doubt what i’m making, start doubting my abilities, about whether or not i’m just deluding myself in thinking i can be an artist.

i know that this is common among artists, but how do you work past it? or is it worth working past? if all i seem to be worth are a few kind words from well meaning people, am i in the wrong line of work? i wish our world wasn’t so dependent on money and material things, but i feel like i’m not able to fully explore my ideas or skills when i’m trying to chase down what will sell.

i had hoped something like the mai ougi would attract attention, but the pessimist inside me says no one will like her, like so many of my past ideas that never panned out. when does someone say this failure is the last one and no more?

i don’t think failures make you stronger, they simply make cracks that can break open at any time and destroy you if you don’t have something to keep you together. and unfortunately, i can’t seem to find that something anymore. ever since i was little, i looked to the dark for my muses – i used to believe that the boogeyman was my friend who would protect me from the real evil out there… and now i feel like as i’ve gotten older, i’ve lost that ability to see the creatures in the darkness and i’ve been feeling lost without them.

forever and a day

August 17th, 2015 by _d2_

it’s been awhile since i’ve updated, i know… but real life really got in the way for awhile and i found it hard to be creative.

however, i’ve finished the mai ougi, after a ton of trouble, and hope to have her up for limited preorders soon.

i’ve also been doing a lot of drawing/doodling and working more on pestilence – i hope soon to share some pics of him once i at least get him all together.

but here are some teaser shots of the mai ougi for now –


i've been drawing for as long as i could hold a pencil and art became my first language. though i've only been sculpting since 2007, i fell in love with the idea of being able to bring my drawings to life. i am heavily inspired by medieval macabre artwork, japanese yokai, and oddly enough, sherlock holmes. currently i'm living just south of beautiful portland oregon ^^