end of another year

December 30th, 2012 by _d2_

and the breaking of another timeline and promises of finishing my work…. seems i excel at broken dreams – though this time some of it is not my fault….

after xmas, i have had no energy and my vision was slightly blurry from stress (and a sinus infection draining me… )

i think about trying to set new goals for myself, but i’m so easily distracted when i’m stressed. i’ve been working a lot on my other dolls instead of molding my mini girl – in large part because i’m terrified of messing up again. but my artistic pride and motherly feelings towards my sculpts make me stubborn about not sending them away to someone else to mold and cast. i want to have my hands on every process, and my bull-headednesses is making me determined to solve the problems. i’ve always loved puzzles, and that’s what this is.

i’m hoping an upcoming visit from my mom will help me regain focus – i really need to get over this block so i can reach my dreams of being a doll-maker. but sadly, i’ve also been watching other people create beautiful dolls better than mine…. or i’ve been seeing people come up with these amazing character sketches and i look at my barely scribbled things – physical pain has made drawing difficult – and i just want to curl up in a cry.

why are artists so insecure? it can’t be just me that’s got low/no self confidence – right? i know the right thing is to push through it and keep at it, getting better and better – but i feel overwhelmed with real life and i just…. shut down.

i have a therapist i see in real life, and i’ve talked with her some about it – but it’s never hit so hard as it has this last week. i’ve also been focused on finding my direction in life. i have ideas, but how to work towards them can be hard to envision.

okay – enough of that….. another end of year rant i’m afraid….

happy solstice!

December 21st, 2012 by _d2_

i hope the winter is treating people well – though i know it’s been a rather trying one….

my family has always celebrated the solstice rather than christmas, and i was tickled pink when it started to snow last night, so that this morning it was finally a winter scene outside!

not only that, but tro and i made cookies! ninja gingerbread cookies! and well, of course my ninjas had to be green ^^

not a picture update

December 20th, 2012 by _d2_

but i received some mixed news this last week – first is that i’m going to end up further behind because i won’t be able to afford the molding materials as soon as i thought (i’m going to pour what i have left this weekend and test out those molds next week) – it also means i’m selling of another huge chunk of my commercially made bjds…..

second – is that the winter fairies have decided to gift me with clay for the holidays! yay! it won’t be here for a few more days at least – probably not until after xmas – but once it is here, i’ll be able to reenter heavy duty sculpting mode! (currently i have only half a block of clay left. period. )

i’m going to start out by working on a centauroid body for my mini girls! i recently had the thought of a feline centauroid, but i can think of a few more to create as well ^^

it also means i can finish up my large dolls, as well as some of the other mini heads (and my mini boy body)

i really can’t wait to finish up at least a few of these – i’ve been dying to work on my vegeta bjd, but i told myself i couldn’t until i finished at least my mini girl body/heads….. and i’m almost there!

after that – i have several other rather ambitious projects i want to make – a violin bodied boy, a life sized ratchet (okay, i’m a HUGE sucker for the cute lombax! ) and even a life sized sherlock holmes! (don’t ask me where i intend to put a 6’1 bjd – but maybe by then i’ll have a nice comfy chair for him to lounge in….. )

i’m also hoping after the holidays to save up for some woodworking books and learn how to make my own japanese and victorian furniture – in scale for my dolls of course.

you gotta love mother nature….

December 15th, 2012 by _d2_

sure, during the week when i had no time to take pictures it was bright and sunny…. and then when the weekend comes and i can take some time to photograph my progress – it’s RAINING! and no sun…. okay, to be honest i LOVE the rain and am happy it’s finally wet, but i have almost no good lighting for pictures…..

but i did take some to share!

first up the torsos of my large dolls – carving down the original boy body i had done as it was WAY too big, and then i’m scupting an entirely new female body – both still have quite a way to go, but i don’t have a lot of clay right now.

my girl torso with my newest dolly (just arrived today! ) – she’s a customized volks ran head i got from yahoo japan. i know it seems like the body is too narrow for her, but once the arms are on there and she has hips, it will look a lot better. i’m really happy that it works for her because i’ve been searching for bodies for my floating volks heads and i just wasn’t happy with anything i saw…..

a bit better fit when it’s just the upper torso piece – i can’t wait to have her whole, along with my others! (twin sdqr swd nono heads and an sd13 shirou tachibana)

and then i’ve been working here and there on my xenoceratops head – it’s quickly becoming a favorite! i’m just adoring the various shadows and lines i’m getting to create with the ridges in the skull.

on the boy torso – what it was intended for, i think it’ll work fine once i start to put in the neck hole and what not

but it also looks great on my girl body….

and a last quick pic of saru – i’ve been working on her too, her eyes have been moved up a touch, but i might move them up even more…. i’m not sure… but i’m happy with how she’s coming along! though i managed to get the planes of her cheeks backwards (they are low by the nose and high on the outside of her cheekbones instead of the other way around ><**** – so i’m having to rework that right now)

no pictures, but a quick word of update

December 8th, 2012 by _d2_

i’m working on my new set of molds using the legos – it’s going pretty well, except that 1300 legos apparently isn’t enough pieces…. i didn’t think my molds were that big.

this weekend is expected to be very cloudy/rainy (yay for rain! ) so pictures might not be coming until tuesday when there will hopefully be some sun.

i’ve also been working hard on my large girl body and redoing my large boy body – while it was nicely sculpted, it was looking too big for the heads so i’ve been working on carving it down and reshaping a few of the curves. all in all, things are going pretty well. i have about half the money i need for new mold materials and will have the rest when i get paid in two weeks – so i’ll be ordering more molding stuff at the end of the month. yay!

however – i *still* haven’t been able to open the part A of my normal resin so might have to get more of that too – but it sucks, the bottle is half full!!!!!! i also need to sit down and clean out the empty resin and mold bottles/buckets so i can put those in the recycling. my mom said that she had good luck with orange cleaner for getting the stuff clean – which will be good, because that will help clear out some space from my little casting room (i’m using what is supposed to be the little laundry room, but since we don’t own a washer and dryer, i was able to set up my sculpting stuff down there)


i've been drawing for as long as i could hold a pencil and art became my first language. though i've only been sculpting since 2007, i fell in love with the idea of being able to bring my drawings to life. i am heavily inspired by medieval macabre artwork, japanese yokai, and oddly enough, sherlock holmes. currently i'm living just south of beautiful portland oregon ^^